I’m so happy you’re here!
Nicole Speeney, MS RDN
My name is Nicole Speeney, and I am an Intuitive Eating / Food Freedom Registered Dietitian!
I was born and raised right outside of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, and moved down to North Carolina in 2020 after graduating from Colgate University in the height of the COVID-19 pandemic. I played softball my entire life - I was a captain on Colgate's D1 softball team, and graduated with my bachelor of arts degree in Psychological Sciences. Fun Fact: I was on the pre-med track when I began at Colgate, but switched to psychology sophomore year. All I knew was that I wanted to help people - maybe work with athletes, or eventually do something in the medical field, but psych was the most interesting to me!
During college, I navigated disordered eating, orthorexia, and body dysmorphia on my own. Everything from obsessing over my macros and the scale, to a VERY rigid exercise routine, all while balancing a D1 sport. I would run and go to the sauna on top of my softball practices, lifts, and conditionings, just to burn more calories. I remember one day vividly - I was in the sauna one morning after a run and felt like I was going to pass out or throw up (or both), so I literally crawled my way into the bathroom and sat on the bathroom floor next to the toilet for a solid 30 minutes before feeling human enough to get myself to a hitting individual session that I had right after. THAT was a turning point for me mentally - that is when something clicked in my brain that my relationship with food and exercise was not in a good place. I never reached out for help (my biggest regret!), because I was too prideful and afraid. So, in order to heal my broken relationship with food, exercise, and my body, I implemented the principles of intuitive eating and watched as my life slowly began to change for the better.
Now, I aspire to reach others who might be going through similar struggles as I did. I strive to help women who struggle with orthorexia and restriction ditch diet culture, perfectionism, and black & white thinking around food and exercise, through using intuitive eating to reach food freedom and ultimately embrace a balanced life BEYOND food!
(And I promise I'm not JUST a nerd - outside of school and dietetics, I love CrossFit, being outdoors, spending time with my friends, family, and Lily (our puppy!), going to concerts, and trying new recipes with my husband!)
My Story
I've been an athlete my whole life, and have always been naturally more muscular than "skinny". I first became hyper-aware of body image in middle / high school when girls would talk about having a "thigh gap" or a flat stomach. In high school and my first 1.5 years of college, I would often body check and I always wished I was skinnier. However, I never had an unhealthy relationship with food because I knew I had to fuel for my sport.
Sophomore year in college, I broke my leg during a game, which ended my season. I had dealt with some pretty rough season-ending injuries before this, but I went home that Summer with an extra fire in my belly, feeling very feeling eager to rehab it back. So, I started doing two-a-days, usually a track workout in the morning followed by one or two crossfit workouts later that day, and began counting my macros.
I quickly began to lose weight, even though that wasn't necessarily the goal, and soon became OBSESSED with both scales - the bathroom scale, and the food scale. It turned into a game for me - how hard could I push myself? How close could I get my daily macronutrient intake to my goal? How low could I get the number on the bathroom scale? How could I eat the "cleanest"? It was totally a control thing, which is something that my perfectionist, over-achieving brain LOVED. I weighed everything I could, if I knew we were eating out, I scoped out the menu ahead of time, and packed "desserts" and high-protein items for gatherings and vacations even if I had to make a complete spectacle of myself (and if you know me, you know I hate being the center of attention), I waited to eat until the exact meal times I set for myself, I had to prepare all of my own meals, so I often declined or missed out on meals that others made I felt guilty and shameful if I ate any "bad" foods, I weighed myself once and sometimes twice each day, I forced myself to workout HARD if I felt I ate too much, my workouts "didn't count" if I wasn't dripping sweat, I went to bed hungry most nights, and the list goes on…
Unfortunately, positive reinforcement fueled the toxic cycle even more, which just further encouraged my unhealthy behaviors. Soon, I lost my menstrual period, my hair started falling out, I began lashing out at people and got angry so easily, I isolated myself from social events, and my digestive system was a mess. It was truly debilitating.
While my performance on the softball field didn't suffer, on the inside, my mental and physical health were not okay. I was running on E, in overdrive, and just not myself.
Unfortunately, it took other people to say something for me to realize that something might be wrong.
So, instead of seeking help like I should have, I decided to take it upon myself to heal my relationship with food on my own. I never received clinical treatment, so I was never diagnosed, and I never opened up about it to anyone because I felt like no one would understand, and that it would make me look weaker. So, in order to heal my broken relationship with food and my body, I implemented the principles of intuitive eating and watched as my life slowly began to change for the better.